I was watching The Hills last night and Heidi and Lauren finally decided to talk about the things that had torn them apart. Laurens' last words were "I think the best thing to do is to forgive and forget, so I want to forgive you and forget you." I wish things were that easy, but we aren't asked to forget people, just the trespasses that they have made against us.
I am working on that right now. The worst thing to do is to hold grudges against people that didn't do anything to you, but their actions still indirectly affect you and your emotions. I am so grateful for my beliefs and for the encouragement that that brings. I know that no matter how many things happen or how hard things are everything is going to be alright; all I have to do is to forgive and forget.
The simplicity of the principle of forgiving and forgetting has helped me through several different struggles over the past few days and although I haven't completely let go of the feelings that I felt, I am working towards that and slowly becoming at ease with everything again. I know things will alright, I know it.
11.13.2007
11.11.2007
Weekends
I love weekends. For the most part that is. Sleeping in, really eating for the first time all week, less school work, football games, cleaning (yes mom I actually enjoy that now!), these are all wonderful things that come from the weekend. The start of this weekend wasn't something that I would consider a great start. My little brother called me really upset about somethings that had happened at home. If I was scared about anything when moving out to Utah, it was that I wouldn't be able to help my little brother any more. I wouldn't be the one to listen to him when he was upset or help him to calm down.
Well this was a sure test for me because he was trying to decide whether or not to act rash or to stay calm and do what he was told (which isn't the path he usually chooses). I was able to get him to go to the bathroom and calm down before he thought about any other decisions he might be able to make. I made him go find Twilight and start reading it. I am so grateful for the bond that my brother and I have because he listens to me out of sheer trust and that is something that is really keeping me out here at school and not running back to North Carolina to rescue him when he needs me. Well anyway, after loads of salty water pouring from my tear ducts in the corner of my eyes, I went to a Warren Miller film and got a free lift ticket to The Canyons down somewhere.
I love not knowing anything about the area I am living in, it is always such an adventure. Well after the movie I went and played Fugitive with a ton of kids on campus and Brett and I dominated! We decided not to play the second round and we walked back together. I really got to know him; not only is he very handsome, he is very smart and has a GREAT head on his shoulders. I was very impressed with the person I hardly knew anything about until last night. It was great. Well today I slept in until noon then got up and cleaned the apartment and did my laundry until three. I finally decided to get dressed and do something. I went to Brett's and talked to him for a while then Sister Johnson called me.
Whenever I talk to her, I feel such love even over the phone that I usually end up in tears. Most of the time nothing is said to make me emotional, its just the fact that I am talking to her and I really miss her. She is like the mother that I have always wanted, but never had. Not that my mother hasn't been wonderful, they just each serve different purposes in my life. I talked to her about the situation back home and she helped talk me through it because having the job of calming my brother down left me without a chance to really be emotional or think about the situation the way I would've normally done if I wouldn't have had to keep my brother safe.
Well I decided to go to the Sports Academy and go tumble and work on bars for a little while. I hurt my wrist on bars and got bored just doing back handsprings and back tucks so I decided to go home. Brett let me tag along with him and three of his buddies, two of which I just had the pleasure of meeting. We went up to this house to meet up with a few more friends, but we just played in the back yard while we were waiting. Have you ever just done something that was so simple, yet so enjoyable that you did want to stop? Well tonight I did that. I got on a teeter totter with Brett and life just seemed simple again. I didn't have a care in the world about anything. I was really happy tonight just being silly. Well we went shooting clay pigeons with glowing goo from glow sticks poured over them so that we could see them when we threw them. We had some funny mishaps and then we ended up leaving.
Brett and I went and got Baitos and had a good old conversation. Then I went and saw Chelsea and Margot was with her. I felt a little awkward because of a situation with all three of us girls, but oh well, life goes on. Now I am in bed and should be asleep because Relief Society is going to come so early! Well I guess that means good night!
Well this was a sure test for me because he was trying to decide whether or not to act rash or to stay calm and do what he was told (which isn't the path he usually chooses). I was able to get him to go to the bathroom and calm down before he thought about any other decisions he might be able to make. I made him go find Twilight and start reading it. I am so grateful for the bond that my brother and I have because he listens to me out of sheer trust and that is something that is really keeping me out here at school and not running back to North Carolina to rescue him when he needs me. Well anyway, after loads of salty water pouring from my tear ducts in the corner of my eyes, I went to a Warren Miller film and got a free lift ticket to The Canyons down somewhere.
I love not knowing anything about the area I am living in, it is always such an adventure. Well after the movie I went and played Fugitive with a ton of kids on campus and Brett and I dominated! We decided not to play the second round and we walked back together. I really got to know him; not only is he very handsome, he is very smart and has a GREAT head on his shoulders. I was very impressed with the person I hardly knew anything about until last night. It was great. Well today I slept in until noon then got up and cleaned the apartment and did my laundry until three. I finally decided to get dressed and do something. I went to Brett's and talked to him for a while then Sister Johnson called me.
Whenever I talk to her, I feel such love even over the phone that I usually end up in tears. Most of the time nothing is said to make me emotional, its just the fact that I am talking to her and I really miss her. She is like the mother that I have always wanted, but never had. Not that my mother hasn't been wonderful, they just each serve different purposes in my life. I talked to her about the situation back home and she helped talk me through it because having the job of calming my brother down left me without a chance to really be emotional or think about the situation the way I would've normally done if I wouldn't have had to keep my brother safe.
Well I decided to go to the Sports Academy and go tumble and work on bars for a little while. I hurt my wrist on bars and got bored just doing back handsprings and back tucks so I decided to go home. Brett let me tag along with him and three of his buddies, two of which I just had the pleasure of meeting. We went up to this house to meet up with a few more friends, but we just played in the back yard while we were waiting. Have you ever just done something that was so simple, yet so enjoyable that you did want to stop? Well tonight I did that. I got on a teeter totter with Brett and life just seemed simple again. I didn't have a care in the world about anything. I was really happy tonight just being silly. Well we went shooting clay pigeons with glowing goo from glow sticks poured over them so that we could see them when we threw them. We had some funny mishaps and then we ended up leaving.
Brett and I went and got Baitos and had a good old conversation. Then I went and saw Chelsea and Margot was with her. I felt a little awkward because of a situation with all three of us girls, but oh well, life goes on. Now I am in bed and should be asleep because Relief Society is going to come so early! Well I guess that means good night!
11.09.2007
Bogged Down!
Well school isn't all that hard, I just have some extremely boring classes due to the fact that even though I am almost a Junior as a first year, I still had Generals to take. Well I am trying to finish those up and continue working towards a degree ( if I could even figure out what that will be). Well since I have such a lack of interest in most of the topics I am studying I have been a bit of a...whats the word....Slacker. I "sluff" class as the Utards say. I look over slides online and watch the clips on my computer. I know that I won't be going to my first class so I stay up later hanging out with friends and then I don't want to get up in the morning. This wasn't the case at first...I was one of the few people who got adequate sleep and went to classes....what happened?? I don't like it and I am going to work hard next week to change that because I can't live like this, honestly. I am sitting at work with absolutely nothing to do, but dread when 11:15 comes because that means that I have to sit through a class that I dislike almost more than any of the rest. BUT, the good thing is that I can go home afterwards and take a little nap. Then cleaning time will come where I have to clean the living room, kitchen, and my bedroom. I have come to the conclusion that if I don't clean then it won't get done, or at least not the way I like things organized. I have never been tidy in my life, but now I am almost a clean freak and it is hard because living with 5 other girls makes me realize that my apartment will hardly ever be clean, no matter how hard I try. Well I will write more later. OH! I am really excited because I really like this boy (I won't say his name though), I think I get to see him next weekend because if things don't fall through, we are going four wheeling!!!! Holding on to a hunk when it's freezing cold out...what could be better? :) That's all for now.
11.08.2007
Random Happenings at School
Well I am new to this whole Blog thing so I will just give a huge summary of my first semester of school. Lets start at the beginning.
The first real thing that I did with my roommates was to take a trip to Bear Lake.
Lori is the blonde, I am in the center, and Jessica is on the right.
Here we are again.
Lori and I being silly!
We are pointing at our feet that are buried under the fake imported sand :)
So Lori was taking this picture of Jess and I
decided that it would be fun to jump into the picture...so I did.
Well the next fun thing that I did was go to a TIME OUT for Women here on campus. John Bytheway, Cherie Call, Jenny Jordan Frogley, Laurel Christensen, Hilary Weeks, and Abe Mills from Jericho Road were all there to perform and to talk to us. It was pretty much an amazing start to a new life.
Cherie Call!!! This definitely passes all my understanding!
This was pretty much AMAZING! That is Jenny Jordan Frogley.
Well I forgot to tell about this wonderful incident earlier, but on my second day in my room, my roommate Jessica and I decided to bake some brownies. We checked the brownies to see if they were done and we decided that they needed to be baked for about 5 more minutes. Well 5 minutes later I went to check the wonderful smelling brownies (that is a lie!! we used olive oil and not canola because we didn't know that it made a difference... :) ) when I looked in the oven I saw this amazing spark of light on the coil of our oven. I yelled at Jessica that I thought our oven was on fire. She told me to put it out, but I told her she was crazy because it was electrical. I didn't know what to do, but I knew our RA Chris would. I ran to get him and I told him that our oven was on fire. He jumped up pretty fast! ha ha! Well we called 911 and got the police and firemen to come, but when we saw the fire trucks, they just passed our apartments...!!!! Chris tried to put it out with the fire extinguisher, but it actually created a flame. When the police came in, they got behind our stove unit and they unplugged it. Yay for police men! They saved our lives, just not our brownies....
Our nasty brownies and our poor oven killed by the fire.
Well back to the sequence of events. I attended my first football game, and I wasn't surprised when we lost, I had been warned since the day I arrived that we just don't have a good football team.
Me and 4 of the roomies at my first Football game!
Well the next event was homecoming. The week was filled of dances, dances, and more dances, as well as seeing friends and going to a football game that I knew the outcome of.
The paint dance...we were supposed to Bleed our True Aggie Blue!
We ended up "bleeding" all sorts of random colors and weren't able to get it out of our hair for weeks.
Ally and Kevin came to visit! They are amazing..where is Kevin??
Kevin was taking the pictures and didn't get one with us.
Our homecoming group with Aldo!
My homecoming group.
My date BJ and I.
Next comes the week of Halloween...
I am in Area Government and I am the floor representative for my part of Merrill Hall. We planned this movie thing..it was funny. Before the movie though, I dressed up in last years costume and watched the movie SPICE WORLD with some girls from my ward. I watched a T.V. show right before I went to sleep so I had a hard time debating whether or not I dreamed up the idea of seeing someone bake a huge cookie then putting lots of icecream on top. I decided it was for sure something I saw on T.V. Well I'm not a huge fan of cookies so I decided to try it with Brownies. Well I told the girls that I was going to watch SPICE WORLD with my idea with the brownies so we tried it. It was every PMSing females dream.
Working on our masterpiece
Me cheesing over the wonderful delectable deliciousness right before me.
The finished product...oh happiness.
We are enjoying a bit of Heaven that came in a box and a container
This is the only picture that I have from the Howl which is a huge Halloween party that the school throws. It's pretty much crazy and the way that most of the girls in our group's hair fell, it looks like we aren't wearing anything under our toga's, but I pinky promise that we are!! There were 8 toga wearing girls all in my ward and all from my floor that were a part of our group...here it is!
I hate this picture though because I look very scary!! Not cute at all.
Well thats pretty much all for now. I hope this fills people in on my life at school and away from North Carolina where my roots are and will always be.
The first real thing that I did with my roommates was to take a trip to Bear Lake.
Lori is the blonde, I am in the center, and Jessica is on the right.
Here we are again.
Lori and I being silly!
We are pointing at our feet that are buried under the fake imported sand :)
So Lori was taking this picture of Jess and Idecided that it would be fun to jump into the picture...so I did.
Well the next fun thing that I did was go to a TIME OUT for Women here on campus. John Bytheway, Cherie Call, Jenny Jordan Frogley, Laurel Christensen, Hilary Weeks, and Abe Mills from Jericho Road were all there to perform and to talk to us. It was pretty much an amazing start to a new life.
Cherie Call!!! This definitely passes all my understanding!
This was pretty much AMAZING! That is Jenny Jordan Frogley.
Well I forgot to tell about this wonderful incident earlier, but on my second day in my room, my roommate Jessica and I decided to bake some brownies. We checked the brownies to see if they were done and we decided that they needed to be baked for about 5 more minutes. Well 5 minutes later I went to check the wonderful smelling brownies (that is a lie!! we used olive oil and not canola because we didn't know that it made a difference... :) ) when I looked in the oven I saw this amazing spark of light on the coil of our oven. I yelled at Jessica that I thought our oven was on fire. She told me to put it out, but I told her she was crazy because it was electrical. I didn't know what to do, but I knew our RA Chris would. I ran to get him and I told him that our oven was on fire. He jumped up pretty fast! ha ha! Well we called 911 and got the police and firemen to come, but when we saw the fire trucks, they just passed our apartments...!!!! Chris tried to put it out with the fire extinguisher, but it actually created a flame. When the police came in, they got behind our stove unit and they unplugged it. Yay for police men! They saved our lives, just not our brownies....
Our nasty brownies and our poor oven killed by the fire.
Well back to the sequence of events. I attended my first football game, and I wasn't surprised when we lost, I had been warned since the day I arrived that we just don't have a good football team.
Me and 4 of the roomies at my first Football game!
Well the next event was homecoming. The week was filled of dances, dances, and more dances, as well as seeing friends and going to a football game that I knew the outcome of.
The paint dance...we were supposed to Bleed our True Aggie Blue!
We ended up "bleeding" all sorts of random colors and weren't able to get it out of our hair for weeks.
Ally and Kevin came to visit! They are amazing..where is Kevin??
Kevin was taking the pictures and didn't get one with us.
Our homecoming group with Aldo!
My homecoming group.
My date BJ and I.
Next comes the week of Halloween...
I am in Area Government and I am the floor representative for my part of Merrill Hall. We planned this movie thing..it was funny. Before the movie though, I dressed up in last years costume and watched the movie SPICE WORLD with some girls from my ward. I watched a T.V. show right before I went to sleep so I had a hard time debating whether or not I dreamed up the idea of seeing someone bake a huge cookie then putting lots of icecream on top. I decided it was for sure something I saw on T.V. Well I'm not a huge fan of cookies so I decided to try it with Brownies. Well I told the girls that I was going to watch SPICE WORLD with my idea with the brownies so we tried it. It was every PMSing females dream.
Working on our masterpiece
Me cheesing over the wonderful delectable deliciousness right before me.
The finished product...oh happiness.
We are enjoying a bit of Heaven that came in a box and a container
This is the only picture that I have from the Howl which is a huge Halloween party that the school throws. It's pretty much crazy and the way that most of the girls in our group's hair fell, it looks like we aren't wearing anything under our toga's, but I pinky promise that we are!! There were 8 toga wearing girls all in my ward and all from my floor that were a part of our group...here it is!
I hate this picture though because I look very scary!! Not cute at all.
Well thats pretty much all for now. I hope this fills people in on my life at school and away from North Carolina where my roots are and will always be.
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